This Fight

A simple fight, a deja vu, a similar complex emotion...

The story began when I hadn't received a single phone call for more than three days. I didn't know if I had a good reason to be mad about it, but I was. That breaking up resulted from no sincere communication. We were both proud, too proud to compromise, too proud to follow each other's wishes. Without a word, we broke up silently. Just a few simple clicks on the personal profile, we ended our relationship.

Today I witnessed a similar scene on my MSN. I started to wonder "Is that we take too many things for granted or we just stick up for our unbreakable principles?" I was told that I didn't know how to talk to lovers. Maybe. However, sometimes I just can't fake it. I can't tell you how great your figure is, while you still have a long way to go. I can't accept too much flexibility that I need to take a lot of time to confirm a date. Sure, sometimes, I just wonder if I still love the one I'm be with. I guess my foolish pride was activated once again.

Not giving up is an ideal concept. After all this, are you still determined to make it through just like before?

Who knows. Maybe this deja vu is a turning point to a better place or a tedious condiction.

Things I've Been Worried About Recently

With my limited point of view, I experienced the world...

Hey dude, you don't need to react like that.
What makes you so horny? Your desire is aroused by the body image.
Things don't work out for me in this way.
Could you spare your time finding another?

No matter how hard I try, there will always be an obstacle in front of me.
The questions is "Do I try hard enough?"
No progression on my work. Laziness, I borrow thy name again.
Not until I can resist all types of temptation of life can I speed up.

No lover, no happiness. A lover, no free time.
Romance is a vulgar thief stealing my control.
So, I was blinded by crave, overwhelmed with corruption.
I don't know when a taste for being cared has become a forbidden fruit in my life.

My stream of conscienceness has no responsibilities for anybody.
This is my blog. I have my parole.

Sometimes I wonder if there is anybody reading what I'm writing on this blog.
I guess I am the only one I know. Ha...

It's Not Easy At All

If you think that love is simple, you might need to think again. Through a series of examination and selection, the "temporary" final outcome revealed. However, no one can guarantees that feelings won't change and stay the same for good. You made your promise, and tried hard to keep your promise. Somehow, you just don't have enough energy to carry on. The more you get to know each other, the more you need to accept something out of your expectation. The more things you find that you can't accept, the more problems you need to face. The more problems occur, the more effort you need to make to communicate with each other to find optimal solutions. After these tiring processes, if the couple still don't break up, then that's what we called "Love conquers all." But sadly, the quick pace of living in this world and lots of other tempting selections waited out there makes this type of everlasting love gradually become a precious legend.

I doubt if I also lose the patience to overcome the obstacles in my relationship. Will something not right from the start be something so right in the end? Hints are more or less sent in the conversation. I hope that we have the wisdom to comprehend each other's messages, and try to put them into real-life practice. Otherwise, we are destined to be the passers-by in each other's life.

Is my value rotten? Or am I just too proud to appreciate the world from a different angle? Being too stubborn? Too many priniciples? Maybe it will be much easier if I stay single.

Birds of a Feather?

Sometimes I wonder if my failure is resulted from the company of other losers. I guess things seem to go extreme while a person has no more stances to make sense of what's happened to him. However, the reality is that most of my friends asks me out to have fun, but not to go to the library to study. We hang out to eat, go shopping, sing in the KTV, or go exercising. There's nothing bad about relaxing oneself, but when these types of relaxation gradually occupy most of the time of my life, I get corrupted as a result. I blame myself for bad time management and setting wrong priority of getting things done. Maybe it's time for me to quit all these and focus more on my work.

Well, as what my father told me, "Winners find their ways, but losers find their excuses," I guess it's still a long way for me to succeed. XD

Uncertainty

What was concealed under your skin?

You had no obvious facial expressions. I tried not to lose my cool. However, clumsy as I was, I kept slipping my tongue. You laughed at me with a gentle smile. That was it. It was like the stone sinking in the still lake. The aroused ripples disappeared, and the lake became still again. Just like your heart.

What kind of person were you?

Walking into your room, I was not shocked by the mess. Maybe that scene was just similar to my room. I got a sense of familiarity from the look of your face, the things in your room, and the voices of your speech. Somewhat strange, but sort of charming.

Was my impulse because of your innocent eyes, sense of humor, great body shape?

My nervousness blocked me from feeling the excitement of your touch. Only a little bit scrape from your beard. I love your beard which delegately accessorized your face. Your breath revealed much masculine. Lying in your arms, I breathed at the same speed as you, listening to your heartbeat.