Challenge

Getting a new tutoring job does provide a way to earn more money, especially when I have problems supporting my life at this stage. However, my new student is an already-good student who wants to become top. That might be a relatively big challenge for me, since I have never reached the "top-student" level in my life. Maybe psychologically I can't empathize her (or her mom's) ambitions.

Moreover, after teaching students at lower levels, I think my ways of teaching and of thinking about English teaching have become sort of fixed. Perhaps, this opportunity allows me to reflect on my inadequacy both in English teaching and English linguistic knowledge.

Maybe I can't survive, or maybe I can. Who knows? Anyway, since I've decided to take on this challenge, I will try my best to do it. Hopefully, I can gain some precious experiences in the process. If not, there will be nothing to lose. At least, I'll definitely get paid. Ha ha ha!

Whining

I want to break through all the chains binding my free will. Lots of things to be worried about, but do I need to follow all the rules? I forget since when my sense of guilt has started to make me compromise and even feel comfortable with all these. I guess I need to have the guts to give it a try. Otherwise, the old habits are still with me. And there will be nothing more in my life can be expected.

Originally I don't want this conflict keeps disturbing my life. In the end, I still have to confess that what I want is not always what I've got. Maybe, that's just life. I shall complain no more. This unsatisfactory life could be other people's blessings if they were me. As a matter of fact, to which point can I feel really satisfied? I still don't have the answer for it.

I guess this is just a sort of reminder telling me I should do something instead of staying the same. Changes are not necessarily good. At least, they give me more choices.